You know that fear of fire weakness that Martian Manhunter deals with? Unfortunately, our alien superhero (real name J’onn J’onnz) can also be crippled by one more horrible plight that Mars never possessed: a sweet tooth. In Martian Manhunter #24, written by John Ostrander and drawn by Doug Mahnke, our protagonist must confront his Oreo addiction head on (called Chocos in the comics). I’m not saying this’ll be sort of like Batman fighting the Joker. I’m saying this is exactly like Batman fighting the Joker.
As part of a hilarious prank against Martian Manhunter – who possesses the same level of sense of humor as the Dark Knight (none) – Blue Beetle and Booster Gold, the Bill and Ted of DC’s excellent adventures, steal all the Chocos in the city. Every single one. But Martian Manhunter being a creature of far superior intellect and composure than us fickle and petty Earthlings, reacts in the correct manner:
Hulk jokes always delight. Look, it’s healthy for our superhero to have some silliness in between barking orders at the Justice League monitor and mourning the loss of his culture and people. And while this issue expands into far deeper (and goofier) territory than I’m delving, the gags are totally solid.
We all kind of agree that Oreos/Chocos aren’t exactly the Hope Diamond of cookies, right? They get stuck in the teeth and they taste a bit chalky. The only real improvement Nabisco could make to the Oreo is come out with a version called Only Cream. But if we can suspend our disbelief for practically everything else in superhero comics, we can add a Choco addiction to that list. Especially if it adds an endearing character trait to a beloved superhero. Though, the New 52 does portray him with the superpower of being super scary, which I find accurate. When you write down all of Martian Manhunter’s stats on paper, he should make any potential evil-doer fearful of littering, much less world domination. To be fair, the same could be said about Superman, and Lex Luthor has spent his whole life punching him with robots.
If you can find Ostrander’s Martian Manhunter series, pick it up. While you’ll still read your share of vicious brawls against evil dudes from Saturn, it’s nice to have some lightheartedness floating around. Especially if you’ve ever desired to hear Batman’s scientific opinion of, “You’re a Chocos junkie!” World’s greatest detective and whatnot.
Special Guest Post Written By: Jason Levine
I’d like to give a big thank you to Jason for bringing to light the very serious matter of cookie addiction. In all seriousness, to see more work from this very talented individual, take a look at his website http://arousinggrammar.com/. You will not be disappointed as his blog runs the gauntlet featuring decades worth of comics from both DC and Marvel while possessing that extra visual punch. And for anyone else thinking they’d like to join me with a guest post, just let me know in the comments below or send me an e-mail at email@example.com.